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August 8, 2013

It’s been over a month since my last post, forgive me.

Let’s see what’s been new.

Well on July 24th, my grandfather was released from Jail. It was completely unexpected. No one saw it coming. He shouldn’t have gotten released. He was suppose to be on the list to get sent to ATL, but he wasn’t. Everything was odd, it was like a miracle happened. Usually people who get sent to ATL for immigration get a meeting to talk about things or you know even if you’re being released someone tells you something. He woke up, did his usual routine, but when after he was done taking a shower an officer told him to follow him. They went into a room where the belongings of the inmates stay there, the office took out his box, and told him to get dressed. He did as he was told. He assumed he was making him do that cause he was about to get transferred, but once he was done the officer took him into the waiting room.

You see only people who are getting released go to the waiting room in the very front entrance. Once he was there the front lady asked him after a while if he was waiting on someone. My grandfather was very confused and asked why. The lady told him he could go home. He was in shock, and when he called my grandmother to have someone go pick him up we were all stunned. 

I just really hope immigration doesn’t randomly appear at the house looking for him. That would kill me, our family. It’s super good having him back home. We all missed him dearly, and things are starting to get a bit better. 

Well that’s one thing that happened, the others..well they aren’t that important. Let’s talk about some love life drama.

So I don’t know if any of you pay attention to my other long essay posts. Well there was one explaining my love life a year ago, or two, I don’t even remember what I posted, but it was talking about some guy that broke up with me, the only guy to do so. I was madly in love with this guy, but things didn’t work out the moment he came back from his vacation in Mexico, things got well, difficult with my oldest brother, cause that was his best friend at the time. Yeah I learned not to get involved with my brother’s friends any more. Took my most of my life to understand that, but anyways that’s not the point. hahah. 

Well about a month ago or so he randomly sent me a message on Facebook and since then we have been non-stop talking. You see I’m  not so happy about that. Cause for once he randomly started talking to me about a girl that he can’t stop thinking about. Like who the hell does he think he is telling me that. That’s beyond fucked up to tell that to the girl who fucking fell in love with you and you broke up with just out of the blue. I’m not in love with him or anything of the sort, but I will always have that special place in my heart for him. So blah blah he’s starting to give me a lot of mixed signals and I’m started to get really confused. 

So when he told me about this girl and I started asking question, you know I wanted to help him, he said “I don’t want to talk about it. I just cant go up to her and tell her I like her.” I thought about it you know. All this guy does it work, and workout. He’s barely going to start college again this semester so who in the world could this girl be. Cause he’s always around guys, unless this girl workouts where he does and he just happens to find time to socialize. I don’t know. but I thought about it a lot and I couldn’t get anywhere until the day of his birthday party. There was some chick asking questions about him “is he single?” you know questions like a person would ask if they were interested in that person. I wasn’t jealous, which was surprising.

I guess I wasn’t cause I have four months talking to some other guy, and when I say talking I don’t mean it in the sense of about to date or getting somewhere. No it’s nothing like that, but I wouldn’t really hope it would get to that point. This guy is amazing. But thing is that since me any my ex have been talking a lot I haven’t been paying much attention to my guy, my baby. Haha.

It kind of sucks, I’m not going to lie, I’m bummed out about it, and I think he’s loosing his interest in me or the small amount he did have for me. And all cause I can’t handle texting more than one person. I’m really not a social person. I hate texting.

I don’t know what do to. I just dont want to date right now, but I also don’t want to loose a chance with being with my baby. I don’t want my ex to ruin things, effect my feelings, nothing. Ahh, 

so that’s it. 

Abandoment Issues

Update on the family drama:

A couple of days ago my grandmother decided to go complain to her son about how “badly” we treat her here. She feels like a slave, but most of it was her complaining about my mother.My uncle also decided to send my mother a long message on Facebook, basically getting on to her about it.

The whole drama, really began about a month ago.

You see my mother works two jobs, night time, both twelve hour shifts, there isn’t much she can really do around the house since she’s always working. Every weekend I take my grandmother grocery shopping. All the bills in the house are split in half between my older brother, Omar, and my mother. My grandmother is suppose to be in charge of making my mothers lunch. Well since my grandmother started coming home late from her job, babysitting three girls, I’ve been making my mother’s lunch. I’m limited on the thing I can make my mother. I know how to cook, but not like my grandmother.

That was the trigger to the whole thing. My mother got mad at my grandmother for never being home on time to make her food. Well point is my mother told my grandmother a month ago to stop making her food, stop cleaning for her, etc. She kept her word. It’s been a month now and my grandmother still hasn’t done any chores for my mother. They haven’t been talking to each other either. That and my mother also stopped giving my grandmother lunch money for us, meaning my brothers and I. 

That caused problems cause we started being limited to the things we could buy for us to eat. It’s really not a big issue, it really isn’t. My mother only gave about a hundred dollars for food. I understand where she’s coming from. She can’t be giving out money to us and also be spending money every day to feed herself, that’s about a hundred dollars each week. 

The whole argument with her and my grandmother worked out good for everyone. My mother stepped up and started doing her own things, and no one had to continue hearing them argue every damn day.

Not only did my mother step up her game, but so did my brothers and I. We started cleaning up more, I started cooking everyday for my brothers, and of course here I am driving around all the time to do errands and whatnot.

So you see, it was completely uncalled for what my grandmother did. She shouldn’t have gone and exaggerated to my uncle. 

The message my uncle sent my mother broke her heart. That’s her only sibling. She feels attacked. She feels like a horrible mother. Ok, that’s a given, my mother hasn’t always really been a mother, but you know at least she’s trying now. Better late than never, right?

Anyways, I sent my uncle a message on Facebook a couple of days ago, basically getting on to him about being rude to my mother, and it was uncalled for. I wasn’t being rude. Frankly I don’t know how to write that well in Spanish to even disrespect any one. My uncle took our conversation out of context and blew up. He again sent my mother another stupid message, and insulted my brothers and I. 

Drama, drama.

This whole thing with my uncle made my grandmother not want to come home, so she started staying at the church and in the shed. Cause she felt unwelcomed at the house. Ha, like that has ever stopped her before. She just wants to be the victim in this whole thing. Not only that but I caught her in the lie and that’s why she’s afraid to talk to me. Yeah can you believe that, not only isn’t she not talking to my mother, but she’s also not talking to me or my older brother, Carlos. She said we “attacked her.”

Honey, you have a month without talking to my mother, what in the word can a person not talking to you do? What in the world did I even do? I understand why she might be mad at my brother Carlos. My brother is pretty harsh with his words, always has been. 

I just really don’t understand the whole thing. It’s pathetic. No one feels right being in the house any more. It’s like it split in between. 

Team #1: My mother, Carlos, and myself.

Team #2: My grandmother, and Omar.

Neutral: David, youngest brother.

Oh and I forgot, my Uncle also threatened us with my grandmother leaving us once my grandfather gets out of jail. Ha. So much for good Christian people.  First my mother abandons us (when we were younger), then my real father, then my step father, now my grandmother. Not only that, but my mother is really at the edge of wanting to leave too. 

I feel like I’m in a novella. My life can seriously not be this bad. Fuck my life. Fuck it hard. I just want everything to end. I want my grandfather back. I wish I never crashed. I wish I had a job to help pay things, help  pay my own freaking ticket. I just hate this, a lot.

The Case

So I’ve decided to fight my case in court. Everyone keeps telling me I should.

I talked to my neighbor last night. The insurance of the truck was under his name. He was mad cause the rate of his insurance is going to go up. I feel awful. Today we’re suppose to go claim it.

I also have to go pick up the police report.

This needs to hurry up and pass cause I can’t sleep knowing I might have to pay a lot of money. Money I don’t have.